I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be studying for the bar exam. Again.
I'm taking the bar tomorrow and I'm fairly confident that I'm going to fail. I just don't seem to know enough, and what little bits of information I can manage to cram into my brain apparently leak out mere moments later. I'm doing some (desperate, last-minute) review for tomorrow's essay portion of the bar, and seriously, I might as well be reading Greek. It's as if I didn't spend every weekend for the last month and a half furiously making flash cards of obscure things like the "fictitious payee rule" and the "uniform statutory rule against perpetuities." I looked at a Torts question just now, and seriously drew a complete blank. Torts, people! That's, like, the first class you take in law school. Sure, to this day I can recite the facts of the Palsgraf case, but does that help me recognize the tort of conversion when the facts apparently indicate it? Nooooooo. Adding to my panic is the fact that the "Model answers" in my review book are each at least three typed, single-spaced pages. Tell me how I'm supposed to write that much in 30 minutes for each question. For some questions, it'll probably be a miracle if I manage two coherent sentences.
To make matters worse, the bar class I signed up for provides a complete multistate bar exam to use as a kind of final practice. I saved it to take today, and as I went through the test, I realized I had actually seen nearly every single question on it in the bank of practice questions also provided with the study materials. I ask you, what good is a practice exam as a testing mechanism if all it does is regurgitate questions that I have already seen? At that point, it's not so much an exercise in testing actual knowledge or comprehension as an exercise in how well I can say "hey! I remember this question! The answer was X. Heck if I know why."
So basically, I'm ska-rewed.
And, just so you know, I am so not one of those people who would cry after every test because I was totally sure I'd failed, only to end up getting 137% on every test and then pretend it was a fluke. In other words, this is not just a random cry for attention. I just ain't ready to take this test tomorrow. Maybe if I had another week...
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Let's Hope this is just the natural "paranoid" coming through. How many times have I told you that you underestimate yourself???!! Of course, studying with the Cheeto around must be nearly impossible, so not passing the first time around is completely understandable, not to mention having suffered the trauma of a double miscarriage. What do they call the person who takes the bar 3 times before passing? "A lawyer" Love ya, but I sure don't envy you right now!! Even if I am up at 3am trying to figure out the intricacies of copyright law and publication....for that lawyer guy who kept you at work that one thanksgiving...ya know, b/c I have nothing else to do...are you sure you want to come back to this profession??!! MISS YOU
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