Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Countdown to Transfer

As I type this, I'm a little under 13 hours away from our FET. Despite my promises to myself that I would be blase about this cycle, I find myself on edge. We have three embryos, and we're just hoping at least one of them survives the thaw. In the absence of any information about the successful thaw rate for 5-day embryos, I've been focusing on my RE's dire warnings about what will happen if none of them make it (in short, that would mean my embryos suck, and there will be no more biological children for us).

On the other hand, I'm happier today than I've been since about April 21. Not coincidentally, that's the day I started Lupron. It's only now that I'm off it that I realize what a terrible, awful, mood-altering drug it is. I spent the last 3 weeks in a funk: depressed, angry, hopeless. I connected the anger with the Lupron, but not really the rest of it until I woke up this morning and realized I felt happy for the first time in what seemed like months. I feel as if I've emerged from a fog.

I also suspect that the Lupron was wreaking havoc on my weight-loss efforts. I don't think it's a coincidence that I've lost three pounds since I stopped taking it (grand total: 6 pounds. Yeehaw!). And I definitely no longer feel the urge to harm my trainer at the gym. Today, I even ran for 3 minutes! Ok, it wasn't all at one time, but still. Progress.

So in short, I'm nervous, but also hopeful. I'll try to post tomorrow with the outcome. That is, if I can find time in my busy bedrest schedule to futz around on the computer (seriously, we're taking no chances here. I'll be on the sofa until Saturday, at least. I've collected a pile of enough books, magazines and DVDs to get me through my entire first trimester, should we be so lucky).


judy said...

Good for you! This transfer will work.And work. And work.
blessings coming your way!

Nicole (SAHM Ramblings) said...

Will be saying a little prayer for you.

On a side note, when I was going through (in)fertility treatments, I recall the common phrase "Loopy on Lupron." Still seems to fit.