Friday, June 27, 2008

The Freakout Begins

My second pregnancy ended with such a whisper that I didn't know it was over until a month later. All I knew was that I felt great -- no more nausea, no more fatigue. The symptoms ended around 8 weeks or so, but since my morning sickness with M had faded at around 10 weeks, I simply assumed this pregnancy was easier and moved forward gratefully. It wasn't until my 12-week appointment, when they told me the dead fetus measured 8w1d, that things finally clicked into place.

Today I'm 7w6d. For the past two weeks or so, I've been sick as a dog -- queasy all day long. On Tuesday, it was so bad I needed to lie down just until my stomach settled. And as much as being sick sucks, I was relieved every second that my stomach revolted. At least it meant I was still pregnant.

Until yesterday. Last night, I realized that I didn't feel sick, and that I hadn't felt sick since before dinner. Not only that, but I wasn't tired, either. In fact, I felt downright energetic. Of course, I freaked out a little, but I reminded myself that pregnancy symptoms do ebb and flow, and decided it was just a short ebb. Problem is, I feel pretty good today, too. I actually have the energy to do some of the housework I've been neglecting, and I've felt at worst mildly queasy for part of the day. My pregnancy symptoms aren't gone, but they're much milder right now than they have been.

Maybe the reason I'm feeling better is that I've finally begun forcing myself to eat more protein after a week-long carb fest. I did notice that I felt sicker when I gave into my carb-loaded cravings, and would end up ravenous but queasy a short time later. Maybe my efforts to improve my diet mean my stomach's just not emptying as quickly and therefore not having a chance to become queasy? Or maybe this really is part of the normal fluctuation in symptoms. But what if it's not? What if the baby's dying?

I'd feel like an idiot calling my OB and telling them I'm worried that I feel too good. Not to mention that I already had to fight with them just to get an appointment next Thursday instead of at the end of July, which is when they initially insisted was the earliest I could be seen. Besides that, the office is closed for the weekend now, since they have early hours on Fridays. I have the feeling they would be less than amused if I were to page the on-call doc just because I don't feel sick today.

On the other hand, it's not like I've never been here before. And if I'd listened to my body a year and a half ago, maybe I wouldn't have carried around two dead babies for a month. And maybe I wouldn't have gotten the infection that messed up my tubes and rendered me infertile (though it's really just conjecture that my miscarriage caused my tubal issues).

I just don't know. Is this important enough to merit an emergency call to my OB? Maybe a quickie return to my RE, who released me last week? I wish I had more confidence in myself and my instincts, so I could know whether mine is a rational concern or just the freakout of a nervous hormonal chick.

5 comments:

Morrisa said...

If it helps, I did have 2 days or so around 8 weeks where I felt totally fine. I too began worrying but sure enough, 2 days later all of the symptoms were back. With that being said, since you have been through this before and it ended in a m/c I would call your RE. I think he/she is more likely to be sympathetic once you explain what happened with your last m/c and would be willing to do an u/s to put your mind at ease. It wouldn't hurt to call.

Kim said...

I have been there with having a miscarrigae like this. My suggestion; it's free to call your obgyn and either speak on the phone with a PA, NP, or the OB and voice your concern. If he or she thinks you should wait or go in, they will tell you. At least ask the people who know best. My prayers are with you.

Katrina said...

If worried, call. I would harass mine all the danged time, and i figured...they are getting PAID to do this. big bucks. And if your ob/gyn blows you off, change docs. There are good ones over at the university that will listen and take your concerns seriously.

Hang in there chickadee!

meh said...

I say you've been through enough trauma and if you want to call CALL. Trust your instincts. You are smart and, sadly, experienced in this. In a twisted well wish, I hope you feel sicker soon...

Deb said...

anything that is worrying you to this degree is worth calling about. you should not have to go through each day not knowing and to heck with being afraid of harassing or bothering the doc. that is their job and what you pay them for. try to remember that - they work for you.