Who is this Kid, and How Can I Get My Baby Back?

Things M has said to me recently:

"go away, mommy! Go to another room and stay there. Don't bother me."

"No, mama. I don't want you!"

"I don't like you."

"NO! You NOT (whatever I happen to be doing at the time)."

"SILENCE!" (this last whenever The Boy or I say something she doesn't want to hear).

Add in the general attitude issues, the constant demands to go wherever it is she's obsessed with going at that exact moment (currently, the carousel at the mall), the flat refusal to cooperate with the most basic of tasks and the unrelenting (if paradoxical, considering how often she tells me to go away) demands that I spend every second of my time paying attention to her, and it seems we're in the thick of the terrible twos.

I suppose I deserve it. Until a few weeks ago, I was one of those annoying moms who claimed that two was the most easygoing, funny, charming age yet, and that I wished my daughter could be two forever. Why, I'd say, batting my eyes, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't love a two-year-old! They're like little, cuddly, court jesters!

Then she turned two and a half, and like a switch had been thrown, I suddenly had a sullen 13-year-old on my hands, only without all the fun reasoning skills. She fights on almost everything. Seriously -- I offer her an ice pop, her favorite thing in the world, and she screams and cries "No! I don't want an ice pop!" But I turn to put it back in the freezer, and it's as if I'd just beheaded her favorite teddy bear. "Nooooo! My ice pop! Moooooommmmmmy! I want an ice pop!!!"

We're trying to give her room to figure out this autonomy thing, while at the same time leaving no question that Mommy and Daddy are in charge, but it's rough. I'm so tempted sometimes to give in to whatever her whim is just to buy a few seconds of blessed silence that I actually think I end up being stricter than I otherwise might be. Or we get into these ridiculous situations where I'll say no about something that doesn't really even matter, then end up not being able to back down lest I lead her to believe that a tantrum will get her somewhere.

Now, don't get me wrong. M is still pretty much my favorite person, and she has her moments of wonderfulness. But being with her 24/7 is not exactly my idea of heaven these days.