Friday, June 08, 2007

Babies, Babies Everywhere

I'm being bombarded with babies over here. My brother's second daughter was born this morning. A friend of mine is having a son on Monday. Two close friends from our pre-baby days are due in the fall, and my sister-in-law is due the week before our baby would have been born. Plus, two of my close friends will start trying next month, so I'm expecting that they'll have news soon, and I have at least two more friends who I suspect are already pregnant.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. I'm so jealous I could choke. Not that I'd wish any of these people to have problems or to not have their kids. I just have a hard time mustering the enthusiasm I'd normally have for their good fortune when all I can hear is the incessant drumbeat of "why not meeeeeeee" in the back of my mind.

The Boy's similarly surrounded at work. Several of the guys he works with have recently announced they they're expecting. One found out yesterday he's having a boy, and the pain on my Boy's face when he told me was horrible. He's hurting so badly. He wanted these children so very much, and I can tell the loss is wearing on him. I think he may be having a harder time than I am. He doesn't have anyone to talk to about everything (nor does he have a blog on which to whine). Plus, he keeps trying to take care of me, which can't be easy. I want to be able to make him feel better, but I have no idea how.


K&M said...

Whatever you do, don't go to Target! That place is crawling with babies and pg chics. I still get twinges of envy seeing a pg woman, thinking she probably just had sex and got pg, when I had to jump through 309458209345 hoops. Hang in there, I know its hard.

meh said...

It does seem like when you are having pg issues, everyone else but you is. I do remember that. And the tears. And the internal battles b/c I should be happy for them but I just couldn't be, not really. It's awful.