Don't Do This

I am a very, very fair-skinned person. I can get a sunburn on a cloudy day in February. Since it's an absolute necessity in my life, I am pretty savvy about sunscreen.

Problem is, I hate the stuff. I hate the greasy gloppiness of it, the way you can slather until your whole body is slick and shiny and still always miss at least one spot. The way even oil-free sunscreen makes my face break out. Ech.

About three years ago, Coppertone saved me from sunscreen hell with this. I love spray sunscreen -- it goes on easy and even and isn't gloppy at all. It takes about 5 seconds to apply, and the coverage is great. Sure, it makes a funky kind of film on your skin, and has to be applied outside because it gets everywhere. And yeah, one can only lasts about a week, so it's expensive. But it's totally worth it (Target also sells a store-brand version, which works out to be half the price).

Problem is, all sunscreen sprays are not created equal, and that's why I'm writing this post -- to warn you. Do not, under any circumstances, waste your money on this can o'crap. I bought it because we'd run out of Coppertone and were on the way to go swimming, and the store was out of my ususal stuff. I figured, "spray, SPF 50, no-tears formula, it'll be fine." Oh, how wrong I was.

First, this stuff is GREASY. It comes out of the can in a mist of oil, mixed with streaks of suncreen (you can tell the difference because the sunscreen is white, and the oil is clear. It doesn't spray evenly like other sprays; instead, it needs to be spread around. If you do one body part at a time (which you have to, because otherwise it runs all over), then your hands will be too greasy to hold the can and press the trigger effectively. And did I mention it's greasy? For hours afterwards, my skin felt like I'd been dipped in a tub of butter. Literally, M couldn't hold onto me in the water because I was too slippery. Oh, it's so gross.

Second (and worse), it doesn't work. We were in the water for 2 hours, something I've done before using normal spray sunscreens with no problem, and I got a fierce burn. My shoulders, neck and (argh!) chest are all a nice shade of lobster today, even though I slathered this crap all over them. I have never, ever worn sunscreen and still burned this bad.

So that's my PSA for the week. Steer clear of expensive, gloopy sunscreen that does not work.