Shades of Blue

I'm feeling a little bit down today. As expected, I failed my 3-hour glucose test, so I'll be treated for gestational diabetes from here on in. The rational part of my brain knows that this is so not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I'm still surprisingly bummed. Once again, it goes back to the guilt, for being fat and for not being as careful with my diet this pregnancy as I could have been. I figure I'll give myself two days to be blue, then get over it.

In the meantime, I am interviewing doulas, as we've decided to try for a VBAC (unless, of course, this GD thing is a one-way ticket to c-sectionville). I've enjoyed that process more than I thought I would. The women I've spoken to seem very cool and supportive, and I think we'll do well to have one of them at our side when this kid comes out. I'm even daring to start hoping that I can have this baby without surgery. This is, of course, the signal for whatever powers that be to swoop in and knock me down a peg, so I'm still not counting on avoiding another c-section.