Monday, March 16, 2009

Fashion Mavens, I Need Your Help

Usually on this blog, I give way more information about myself than anybody needs. I know this. And I also talk somewhat incessantly about how I'm fat, but I've always been cagey on exactly how fat. But now I need some advice, so here we go with the details.

I'm 5ft4 on a tall day, and I wear somewhere between a 20-24, depending on the clothing manufacturer and style. My body is definitely pear-shaped. I have smaller (proportionally) arms and chest, but a big belly and a huge bottom. Most of all, I have tree-trunk legs. Even when I was skinny, my legs looked fat. I don't really have ankles, and since I've been fat, much of that weight has actually settled in my thighs and calves. Seriously, my calves have a larger circumference than the thighs of the normal-sized people I know.

For this reason, I rarely wear skirts, but I do love nice, floaty dresses. Every spring I develop a hankering for them. I never actually buy or wear dresses, because I have absolutely no desire to cause traumatic blindness in everyone I encounter. But now Old Navy (pretty much the only place I shop anymore, despite my well-documented love/hate relationship with them) is carrying these, and I kind of want one. They're nice and long, and would cover up most (if not practically all) of my legs. And their empire waistlines seem like they'd be pretty forgiving of my belly.

On the other hand, these dresses make even the models look like they're hiding something. On a short, fat, girl, wouldn't it just look like I was wearing a mumu? Or worse, a housecoat, like Edna in Hairspray? And also, do you think these would be inappropriate for the park or a playdate? It's been so long since I've departed from my uniform of jeans or khakis with a v-neck t-shirt that I honestly have no idea how to wear anything else.

Help me, people who know how to dress. You're my only hope.


Annie said...

Hmm, you know me ... I LOVE clothes. Goodness knows I've been told by enough people that I could have just bought some Barbies rather than having kids.

My concern with that dress is that there is so much pattern on it. It would need a shrug/cardigan to break it up a little bit. And then it becomes a little less useful come summer. Wearing a dress to the park makes it harder for you (depending how much you have to do to keep up with M these days) to move deftly around the park. And if you need to sit on the floor for a playdate, a dress makes getting up and down much more complicated.

You could always wear it to come to Charlotte!!!

The Girl Next Door said...

I think you should at least try it on - and I am of no use on fashion. you've seen how I dress. But I say try it on, ask some friends and see how it goes. I agree with Annie on the pattern thing, but maybe they have some that don't have so much pattern? but I disagree that wearing a casual dress can be hard to keep up with little ones or sit on the floor - I used to live in little dresses in Spain - women didn't wear pants.

And as Annie says, even if it's not practical for the park and playdates, it might be the perfect little something for an evening out with the boy, even if it's just a stroll around the neighborhood, something to make you feel special - because you deserve to feel special!